My mystery man

Okay so contrary to what everyone advised me to I ended up messaging him.  I know I know you are disappointment but here is the thing, this is how I am justifying it and you can chose to read or close the page.

I am not doing anything wrong.  We are talking about general things in life, nothing 3aib aw 7aram and yes we are in rm'9an but like I said, we message every now and then and its just 

"ha shlonich"
"shswaity ilyoum"
"shloun il dawam"

o marat bs edizly "good morning"


we talked mara 3l telefone leana knt ry7a 3sha ib spoons ib f7ai7el and wanted company on the drive back so thought what the hell, and I was comfortable talking to him k2na a3rfa mn ziman.

He didnt flirt.

He didnt ask to see me.

When I say sorry I cant talk he understands and doesnt push for it.

I can see some of you shaking your head in disappointment, wly shocked wly ra7 itsib wtgoul iny ma asti7y o jililat 7ya o okay 9a7 kalamkum bs it wont stop me.

So I thought ra7 agoulkum il conversations ily 9arat baina o t36ony rykum, for those who would like to help out a complete airhead when it comes to relationships.

Day 1

It started out ina I am sending my friend a message wna I sent it to him by mistake.  He didnt answer me on the spot.

A few days later I get a missed call mn a unknown number, my phone ma kan m3ay so I message mino, he asked intay mino daza msg mn cham youm 3la raqamy il thany.  So I acted dumb o said sorry by mistake. 

Galy 7a9al 5air o bs.

6ab3an knt 3la a39aby leana I felt like I wanted more.

Before I continue I want to tell you more about who I am maybe you will understand why I msged him.

For you who are interested in knowing who I am keep reading, for those of you who think I am a total bitch please close the window.

To say that I am lonely would be nothing to how I truly feel.

I am surrounded by family but I feel alone.

I have friends but I feel unimportant.

I work, but I feel like its just cause I have to.  I am neutral about my work.

I wake up go to work, spend 8 hours there, come home, lunch, nap wake up watch tv ALL day with my phone off because lets face it mino ra7 ys2al 3ny?

All my friends are living the life they had planned, some dont need to work because well ... they just dont while others have their boyfriends/fiances/ and husbands to fill their lives.

I had a boyfriend when I was 18, I saw him in school and that was pretty much it.  I didnt have a phone SO we stayed in touch over weekends by msn.  

I graduated went to jam3a and we lost touch.

4 years of jam3a I hid from everyone because in my head I thought I was 3dya 7tan below 3dya so why bother.  

I dress plain.

I look plain.

I am not skinny, not fat mm matrousa I guess. 

and yes my weight bothers me, then again even skinny girls complain about their bodies 9a7?

Okay, so maybe 7yatie doesnt justify me staying in touch with this man.

But for now, I feel like I need him.

Even though he isnt completely available but I guess for now I can work with this.

Enough about my sobby life now, I will update you all on Day 2 tomorrow inshalah.

good night, o taqabal allah 6a3tkum!

Please refrain from harsh comments, had a lousy day.